Blog #14: Final Three-Paragraph Reflection

I have completed a full semester of AP Literature & Composition, and the experience was different, but enriching. Instead of constantly writing argumentative and analysis essays to practice for an AP exam's essay section, like in AP Language & Composition class, we did projects instead. We incorporated complex analysis of prose when we filmed our Greek tragedy projects, and we synthesized various sources in order to ultimately participate in a Socratic Discussion about Shakespeare's Hamlet. These experiences have not only helped me improve as an analysis writer, but have also allowed me to think more creatively when answering essay prompts.

Initially, I walked into this classroom thinking that I would already have all the resources I need to succeed in analyzing literature. However, I soon figured out that AP Literature necessitates a deeper understanding of given prompts. This class has taught me necessary skills in recognizing the underlying complexities of certain pieces, complexities that all authors of literary merit undoubtedly use. When annotating a prompt, I now easily recognize not only the literary devices that an author or poet uses, but also how the speaker incorporates the devices to give both explicit and complex implicit meanings in the text. I am also now skilled in finding binary opposites in prose and poetry passages and incorporating them into my thesis statements. Every good AP Literature essay needs to discuss the elaborate binaries present in authors' works. I have learned the importance of recognizing different forms of poetry - such as the English Sonnet and Villanelle - and also the shifts in focus and tone in these pieces. To me, finding tone shifts in passages is another good way of formulating my analysis argument, giving a clear trail of logic.

Having applied myself in this class this semester, I feel like I have learned to better appreciate and analyze the works of pronounced literary figures. Because of the skills I have acquired, I feel that I can better write a successful analysis essay analyzing the complexities of pieces. Of course, I must still learn how to better structure my essay so as not to follow the conventional five-paragraph essay. However, my newly earned skill of recognizing tone shifts can help me reach my objective of writing a better overall analysis.

Blog #13: Socratic Discussion Final Materials

Blog #12: Hamlet Social Media Blog Post

Hamlet Act 3: To Be Or Not To Be & Analysis of Form and Mis En Scene

To Be Or Not To Be Analysis

Two primary metaphors: negative life experiences as an unrelenting sea and the concept of death as both a dream and a nightmare.

In Scene 1 of Act III of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Hamlet ponders whether it is better to be alive or dead and why people continue to live despite facing hardships. Hamlet begins by comparing the negative experiences of life to the brevity and ease of death, incorporating synecdoche to describe the troubles of the world as “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” (3.1.58), emphasizing the physical and emotional pains that humans face as tangibly painful objects of violence, hindering a person’s will to survive. After criticizing life itself, which Hamlet illustrates as a vast and inescapable“sea of troubles” (3.1.59) and hardships, he promotes the idea of death, a quick solution to these hardships. Using the infinitive forms of the verbs “To die, to sleep; / ...to dream” (3.1.64-65), Hamlet emphasizes not only the ubiquity of these words to describe the eventual fate of every human, but also an apparent necessity to die early when faced with too much adversity. He appeals to emotions of determination and confidence by resolutely emphasizing an end to “heartache and the thousand natural shocks” (3.1.62) that the unrelenting sea of life experiences bring.

However, the dreamlike and comforting tone of the soliloquy quickly switches to one of staunch realism, effectively eliminating any thought of himself pursuing death. He logically enumerates all of the ills that are faced daily by humans, such as “Th’ oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely, the pangs of despised love, the law’s delay” (3.1.71-72). By using parallel structure to convey the numerous and various troubles, Hamlet concedes that life is difficult. However, through this same list, Hamlet emphasizes the human fear of the unknown after death, which overtakes the fear of any amount of tangible hardships faced on earth. The afterlife is an “undiscovered country” (3.1.79) that no one would want to face. The unusual paradox used earlier to describe the traditionally scary concept of death as a peaceful and cathartic dream shifts to describing the same concept of a dream as a malevolent and frightening unknown. As a human currently living in the tangible world, who has faced a death of a loved one and a corruption of his family, Hamlet resolutely rejects the contemplation of the abstract dream of death, both as a conveyor of hope and fear. Once again, he appeals to his own emotions of shame, emphasizing that contemplating death “does make cowards of us all” (3.1.83). In Hamlet’s words, the “pale cast of thought” (3.1.85) of death simply causes one to “lose the name of action” (3.1.88), which Hamlet especially cannot do, given his current turmoil with and alienation from his family. By highlighting the need to choose the difficult sea of life over swift death and reality over abstract thinking in his soliloquy, Hamlet enhances his drive for resolute action to ultimately follow through with his plan to avenge his father’s death.

Mis En Scene Analysis and Organization/Explanation

Mel Gibson’s rendition of Hamlet’s soliloquy in Scene 1 of Act III portrays Hamlet alone in in a cavernous, dungeon-esque room in the palace. Dark, spacious, and empty, this room emphasizes the loneliness that Hamlet himself faces, trying to avenge his father’s death without the help of any friends. Hamlet initially walks down a staircase lit by above-ground lights, which symbolize the reality in which Hamlet actually lives. His descent into the unlit, cavernous room parallels the scene’s own descent into the deep thoughts and motivations of Hamlet. He is accompanied solely by the sounds of the wind and his own footsteps and voice, emphasizing a loneliness and intimacy that Hamlet will soon deliver to the audience. The sole use of diegetic sounds also places emphasis on the reality of Hamlet’s mental turmoil to achieve his malevolent plot, an atmosphere and feeling that would be eliminated if external non-diegetic sounds were added. The movie’s constant use of close-up shots on Hamlet’s face presents a face and body that ironically look very unroyal, even though Hamlet was born into royalty. His hair is messy and his clothes are shabby, highlighting his own current alienation from his noble family. By depicting Hamlet as rather sloppy, Gibson stresses a disconnect between Hamlet and his new family, with Hamlet being the odd unhappy man out of a satisfied relationship between two lovers. The close-up shots also illustrate Hamlet’s changing feelings throughout his soliloquy, with a content, relaxed appearance when he fancied the thought of death and a frustrated and angry visage when he understood the necessity of being resolute to his goal. In the scene, Hamlet walks to a statue of a sleeping person while contemplating the desirability of death, before ultimately walking away from it and up the staircase after agreeing to follow through with his plan. This symbolizes a rejection for the contemplation of death in order to resolutely face his real-life destiny, as Hamlet goes from the dark cavern of his inner thoughts back up the staircase to gritty reality.

This performance of Hamlet by Mel Gibson successfully depicts Hamlet’s disconnect with his family. It clearly conveys the frustration that Hamlet feels as he tries to become more strong-willed to carry out his plan to kill Claudius, showing his rejection of bowing out by pursuing death. The expressions made by the actor successfully show the shifts present in his soliloquy as he declares one viewpoint to the next. The cadence and changing pitch of the actor’s voice also enhances the soliloquy’s dynamic changes in tone. Overall, Mel Gibson effectively portrays a burdened, yet determined Hamlet expounding upon his deepest thoughts, ultimately placing emphasis on this scene as a turning point in which Hamlet rejects failure and instead accepts pursuit of his mission.

Blog #11: Group Ode

Ode to Maturity

I (Andrew, Strophe)

I	t is now that time where you leave your house.
	What was a house will forever be home,

But you will move on quiet as a mouse.

Now you’ve moved on and you start to roam,

Finding the beauty in everything new,

It all seems to be plated in bright chrome,

All of the new items start to accrue,

You begin to enjoy everything now,

You found the good part in starting anew.

Finally it is the time to avow,

You love life as lonely as it may be,

A fulfilling life these events allow.

It is this life that you truly envy -

At last you are in the land of the free.

II (Chinmay, Antistrophe)

The depart from your loved is hard to bear

As that mist of love will cease to remain;

No parents or siblings with love to share.

The thoughts of loved ones back home will bring pain.

Faces of family will fade away -

In mind, the freedom will not be a gain.

Old pictures will spawn fondness, yet dismay

The touch of a paper will not be warm-

The real thing is very far, far, away...

So as you sit in that dark college dorm,

You will anxiously wait for the day,

That you will meet your loved and end the storm.

That is the day, the sun will shine its rays,

Till that great day, all you can do is pray.

III (Matthew, Strophe)

Your parents, fam’ly, friends, they guided you -

But shackled are your legs to stringent law -

The time to guide yourself is overdue.

Your youth, your passion, all of it is raw;

A wondrous world of beauty, within sight!

From infancy, you must swiftly withdraw.

A burning confidence will soon alight

Consuming worldly knowledge all around -

A newborn eagle - finally in flight.

The ones that you love most, not to be found

Yet so much joy and opportunity!

How spacious is the footpath when unbound!

A breadth that spans the mountains to the sea;

Such jubilance in the land of the free!

IV (Alexander, Antistrophe)

But this freedom presents a hidden cost:

One which fractures your world and shakes your feet.

A man is a boy, but innocence lost.

The world is cruel - one cannot retreat

to their mother's sweet, familiar embrace;

One's independence often bittersweet.

Humanity no longer has its grace,

And one slowly loses his purity,

As the world reveals her actual face.

Murder no longer an obscurity;

The constant reports of appalling sin -

A gleeful, ”Welcome to maturity!"

Sadly, things can't return to how they've been,

Once you see the broken world from within.

V (Everyone, Epode)

In this broken world one learns to adapt;

For every soul faces this exact plight:

Once accustomed one no longer feels trap’d.

Only in fall, can you truly take flight;

Just don't forget after you leave the nest:

Your past is your own - don't try to rewrite.

Old friends may be distant, but don't be stressed,

New faces will provide familiar aid;

To fam’ly, you are still a welcomed guest.

Embrace comrades and kin yet to be made

And wisdom from your youth you should agree -

The future welcomed; past should never fade.

O, maturation, how you are the key:

To meld a yore in the land of the free.

Blog #10: “Pop Villanelle”

Pop Villanelle

A bike without the use of bars I cruise,

And texts of comics drafted I create.

Doth there exist a thing I cannot do?

Remote control of mine I doth undo,

And cherry stems I tie with ease and haste,

And bikes without the use of bars I cruise.

Mine expertise to start comp’nies anew –

Consumers, O, the things I sell art craved!

Doth there exist a thing I cannot do?

A microphone I use, mine power grew;

Mine global reach, mine cause one cannot break –

This bike without the use of bars I cruise!

Opponents go in prisons I’ve construed!

And missiles launched by radar with no shame!

Doth there exist a thing I cannot do?

This world, this planet swiftly I undo;

This power, death, and hatred were mine fate:

A bike without the use of bars I cruise.

Doth there exist a thing I cannot do?

                                    Flobots, “Handlebars”

Blog #9: “Pop Sonnets”

Original Song:

"Handlebars" - Flobots

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Look at me, look at me
Hands in the air like it's good to be
Alive and I'm a famous rapper
Even when the paths are all crookedy
I can show you how to do see do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Erikson
I know all the words to "De Colores"
And "I'm proud to be an American"
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want 'cause look

I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome
And I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone

Look at me, look at me
Just called to say that it's good to be
Alive in such a small world
I'm all curled up with a book to read
I can make money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine
sixty four miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the system
I can do anything with no assistance 'cause

I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
And I can split the atom of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule

Look at me, look at me
Driving and I won't stop
And it feels so good to be alive and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
I can handout a million vaccinations
Or let 'em all die in exasperation
Have 'em all healed from their lacerations
Or have 'em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don't like them
And I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command because

I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
And I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope

And I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

English Sonnet:

A bike without the use of bars I ride,
And texts of comics drafted by me too;
The stems of cherries into knots I’ve tied:
Doth there exist a thing I cannot do?
From books I read to boost mine knowledge of
The tools I need to start a store of thrift.
Antibiotic products people love.
Mine comp’ny booms – mine lifestyle starts to shift…
This power great, a nation I doth lead
And foes who protest, with haste go to jail!
Mine pockets fatten as opponents bleed,
By missiles that doth rain on earth like hail!
– O yes – the world could end if I decreed:
For after all – handlebars I don’t need.

Flobots, “Handlebars”

Blog #8: Paradox of Poison Party

Poem:

Stolen Emotion

What have you done to me?
A black cloud of betrayal as affections vanish.
Once we savored bliss,
Glad-hearted and childlike,
But your heart perished.
A sickening fever of darkness -
Tears follow love, follow hate,
Love spoiled.
In a torrent of bitterness,
I reject you.

Food Item:

Candy Corn Cookies

Because Paradox of Poison was the theme for our party, I brought in cookies shaped like candy corn to represent a paradoxical item. Candy corn by itself is already somewhat of a paradox, blending the shape of healthy corn kernels and the sugary taste of candy. To make the cookies, I put together yellow and orange cookie dough and then cut the dough into triangular shapes. By making Candy Corn Cookies stacked together to resemble kernels on a corn cob, I tried to emphasize the strange mixture of healthy and unhealthy that candy corn suggests. I also added a secret ingredient to the cookies: carrot bits. Since the sugary aspect of the dish overpowered the nutritious aspect, I felt that carrots were necessary to further highlight the paradox between healthy and unhealthy.
The carrots themselves contributed to the cookies by providing a little more chewiness to an otherwise crunchy dish.

My gothic attire for the party.

Blog #7: Mythological Allusion Poetry PowerPoint

Blog #6: Man Booker Prize Prompted Writing

Selected Prompt:

1988. Choose a distinguished novel or play in which some of the most significant events are mental or psychological; for example, awakenings, discoveries, changes in consciousness. In a well-organized essay, describe how the author manages to give these internal events the sense of excitement, suspense, and climax usually associated with external action. Do not merely summarize
the plot.

Essay:

In the novel, The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga, Balram Halwai’s mental interpretations of events in his life drive the progression of both the plot and his character. Although Balram is born into a humble and impoverished household, his changes in determination and reactions to an oppressive societal system forcibly suggest both his future wickedness and eventual rise to power. By displaying Balram as an individualistic thinker, Adiga reveals the suspense of the story as told through the lens of both an ignorant and enlightened Balram.

Adiga begins the story with a innocent and naive Balram, who has lived his entire adolescence in a poor Indian town. Once an ordinary boy, his encounter with a school inspector pushes him forward, as he describes Balram as “an intelligent, honest, vivacious fellow in this crowd of thugs and idiots” (30). After the inspector coins Balram as “The White Tiger,” readers directly see the gears of determination slowly beginning to run in Balram’s mind. Balram, who was born into the same conditions as his peers,is given a revelation that he was born talented - which can thus allow him to escape the confines of his town - happily accepts his role as the White Tiger. This exposes the first sign of Balram’s confidence to do better, shaping a suspense of where Balram’s thoughts will lead him next.

His encounter and acquaintance with his master Mr. Ashok, a man who hires Balram as a chauffeur, doesn’t enlighten Balram, but instead pushes him further into ignorance. After working for Mr. Ashok for some time, he returns home only to expose his true self-centeredness. He ungratefully refused the food of his Granny and flings it across the wall, in an attempt to protest against his past life of poverty and lack of culture. Despite a supposed increase in Balram’s sense of individuality - in the form of refusing his past life - he actually exposes his lapse into wickedness. Once a innocent and obedient boy, he prefers the guidance of an uncaring master over that of his family. His thoughts and newly-acquired traits of wickedness foreshadow both Balram’s downfall, and his enlightenment to his ignorance.

Balram truly confronts societal evils and his own cruel ignorance during a meeting with Mr. Ashok, where Balram must take the criminal blame for the accidental murder of a young girl that Mr. Ashok committed. Before this point, Balram still thought highly of Mr. Ashok as a master. Now, however, readers see the full effect of a boy brainwashed by the elites. In Balram’s thoughts, he wants to accept the blame for the crime because he still believes it to be a duty to protect his master. But readers see a larger force arise from his mind, a force that calls for rebellion against an unfair and oppressive societal system. Balram gains the revelation that “the masters still own us, body, soul, and arse” (145). By looking into his thoughts, readers see an enlightenment, a force to escape his ignorance and servitude to an oppressive India.

His trip to the National Zoo in New Delhi furthers his thoughts of rebellion, which ultimately further the mental tension of Balram to drive the story forward. His encounter with an actual white tiger locked in a cage affects him so much that he faints. After waking up, he realizes that “[He] can’t live the rest of [his] life in a cage” (239). His realization that he must now escape from Mr. Ashok by any means necessary - with no regard to Ashok’s care anymore - shoves him into the climax of the novel.

As Balram kills Mr. Ashok by ramming into him a broken bottle, readers see the aftermath of Balram’s wickedness. With no apparent regard anymore for his master, Balram is now finally free and enlightened individual whose thoughts drove him to accept his fate as a man in individualistic power, not a boy in obedient servitude.

Blog #5: Greek Tragedy Presentation & Paper

Blog #4: The Multiple Choice Exam

Reflection:

On my first take of the multiple choice benchmark exam, I scored a 42/55, which is about a 76%. While taking the test, I wasn't confident that some of my answer choices were correct. On all of the questions, I used the process of elimination to narrow down the answers choices to two or one. The 20 or so questions that I narrowed down to two choice, however, were quite difficult to answer. Either the choices sounded too similar, or they seemed to both pertain to the passage, making me constantly spend a lot of time on just one question. After judging both my score and my feeling on this AP Literature multiple choice exam, I think that this test is much harder than that of AP Language.

For me, the most meaningful learning about the AP Literature multiple choice test resulted from collaborating with my table mates on why the certain answer choices are correct while distractors that sound similar aren't. After revising my test, I scored a 55/55. By discussing thoroughly with others, I learned the definitions of many literary devices, allowing me to easily answer questions asking about terms like "mixed metaphor," "allegory," or "meter." I have also learned many strategies from 5 Steps to a 5. The most important strategy to me is creating and answering my own questions in my mind regarding intricate details or main points in the passage while reading and annotating. This critical thinking can help me anticipate potentially similar questions, allowing me to better answer them when I finish reading. Another important technique is using context when a question refers to specific lines. This can help me find clues, which are necessary to answer difficult and complex questions.

Having experienced the AP Literature multiple choice benchmark exam and the class discussion and table revision that followed, I now feel a little more confident about future multiple choice questions in this class. Although I feel that I am already skilled in the technique of process of elimination, my newly learned strategies of anticipation and finding context clues can help me answer questions that have one or more distractors.

Blog #3: The Poetry Passage Benchmark Essay

Draft #1:

In The Black Walnut Tree by Mary Oliver, the mother and the child have a personal relationship with the walnut tree. Their constant arguments of using the tree as an ultimatum to pay off the mortgage are ultimately overshadowed by their desire to escape shame and loneliness. Through the connection between the tree and family, Oliver reveals that both the tree and the family need each other to live.

Oliver begins her piece with a clear tone of frustration, but also hope. Each member of the family finds agreement that the tree should be cut down, ultimately to alleviate their bad financial situation. The tree could indeed "pay off the mortgage" (l. 5). The tree is considered to be dangerous and deadly as it is described as a "dark boughs" (l. 7) that could end up "smashing the house." In a difficult time, the mother and child focus all of their frustration on this black walnut tree, as if the tree's sheer aura of danger will end up being the death of them.

But the tree also symbolizes a hope, hope for a better lifestyle. Their constant bickering holds onto the hope that the tree will eventually pay off their debts, leading to a more prosperous life.

The tone of hope shifts into one of deep longing and nostalgia. An abstract mindset "brighter than money moves in our blood" (ll. 16-17), according to the young child. Oliver follows with a sharp simile, comparing the already solid mindset of the family to "a trowel that wants to dig and sow" (ll. 18-19). The family members have tugging inner thoughts, guiding them to try to fix what they and many generations before have taken away.

Oliver describes a filling of the fields of "fresh and generous Ohio" with "leaves and vines and orchards" (ll. 24-25). This visual imagery of an almost tangible, but still distant freshness of a fertile breeding ground for lush wildlife turns the tone to one of longing for the past. The mother and child would both "crawl with shame in the emptiness" (ll. 27-28) of a field without the tree, a constant reminder of a more plentiful and generous time period, which ultimately contrasts with theirs. They'd hate to eliminate a relic that has provided for many so long ago. The tree's disappearance would surely relapse the family's mental situation further, as they lose the one crux that symbolizes plentifulness.

The author finishes the text with a long list of burdens, of "leaping winds," "bounding fruit," and "the whipcrack of the mortgage." Despite all of these hardships, the tone is once again one of hope. These hardships will be overcome by the family, as long as they still have their mental connections to the tree.

Essay score: 5

Reflection After Draft #1:

Although it scored a "safe" score of 5, my Draft #1 of the The Black Walnut Tree's Poetry Passage essay has issues regarding complexity. I include an interpretation of a tight connection between the family and the tree, but I don't discuss a range of interpretations of the text that could raise the score of the essay. For example, my first draft does not expound upon the walnut tree as a symbol of the family tree. I instead describe the tree as a tangible relic that gives the mother and daughter feelings of nostalgia for a simpler time period. This discussion not only misinterprets some of the passage, it also fails to indicate that I can see the more implicit meanings of the text.

Draft #2:

In “The Black Walnut Tree” poet Mary Oliver, uses the titular tree to reveal an internal clash between logic and emotion within the speaker and her mother. The decision of whether or not to sell the tree creates the conflict in the poem. Selling the tree is the logical choice, as it would save their family from poverty, but the tree has intrinsic value to them, offering an  emotional connection to their heritage that prevents them from selling the tree easily. Oliver uses the tree to show the family’s moral dilemma: of whether to save their future, or honor their past. This conflict is emphasised by the shifts in tone that reflect their differing opinions on the tree.

Oliver begins her piece with a logical debate over the benefits of selling the walnut tree. Using a vivid selection of detail, she describes the tree as a “dark boughs” (l. 5) that will likely “smash” the house. Such descriptions of the tree as a malevolent force paint a supposedly distant and negligent relationship between the family and the tree. Rationally, they say that the tree’s “leaves are getting heavier every year” and that the fruit is “harder to gather away” (ll. 13-15). This solid agreement between mother and daughter to remove the tree further highlights the tone of objectivity. By creating a heated discussion over the financial and laboral benefits without the tree, it serves as a small reminder that the family lives in hardships and poverty. If the tree seems to serve little benefit for the family, what purpose does it actually have?

This purpose is immediately revealed in the next six lines, 16-21, proving a strong and necessary connection between the family and the tree that usurps the negatives of keeping the tree. This strong attachment between Oliver and the black walnut tree is introduced when she describes that “something brighter than money moves in our blood-an edge sharp and quick as a trowel that wants to dig and sow” (ll. 16-19).  The argument against logic and for emotion begins here by denoting the strong familial relationship the mother and daughter share with the tree. This strong relationship is portrayed in the tone shift from an objective description of the tree and the argument to sell the tree initially, to a more intimate and personal connection to the tree by saying that it means more than money. This phrase also contains a simile that depicts the strong and long lasting relationship between the family and the tree, which is why Oliver and her mom cannot give up the tree for money. Throughout the rest of the poem, the speaker begins to highlight an even deeper, generational link between the tree and the Oliver family.

Oliver continues to provide a glimpse of the emotional attachment when she changes the focus of the passage to a reference to the speaker’s fathers’ fields in Ohio, “lush with vines and orchards”(l. 25) and juxtaposes these images of plentifulness to the “emptiness” she  would feel in her own yard years later. The vivid imagery used by Oliver depicts the profound contrast between the growing yard of her forefathers, to the barren yard that she would make, if she got rid of the black walnut tree. Oliver further continues to utilize imagery by discussing how she and her mother would “crawl with shame in the emptiness” (l.27) - a direct byproduct of selling the tree. The depth of detail Oliver uses conveys a sense of deep remorse of possibly selling the black walnut tree. Thus, by referencing her fathers’ yards through imagery, Oliver is able to portray the speaker’s emotional and steadfast commitment to the tree, to keep her lawn full, just like those in her family had done years ago.

This emotional attachment conflicts with the family’s logical argument presented at the beginning. The last lines of the poem reinforce the conflicting feelings the family feels. Oliver claims the tree “swings through another year” (l. 31), suggesting that this is debate has been a recurring one. The imagery of “sun and leaping winds, of leaves and bounding fruit” (ll. 32-33) again shows the tree as a wonder. This wonder is short lived, as Oliver ends describing the “whip-crack of the mortgage” (ll. 34-35). The change in tone is sudden, jolting both the speaker and the reader back into reality. The fantasy of the tree offers is allusive, but the reality of the family’s situation is that the tree should be sold. This logical choice, however, is still ultimately blocked by their emotional connection to the tree - a connection that is shown through Oliver’s use of imagery and figurative language. The tree stands as a metaphor for the family’s refusal to let go of their heritage. It is a metaphor that will stand “through another year”.

Reflection After Draft #2:

At the time that I was writing my first draft, I spent a lot of the exam time trying to discover an implicit, complex meaning in the prompt. After failing to find one, I regressed into writing a more simple discussion of the prompt, in a 5-paragraph essay format. My uncomplicated and formulaic interpretation of the prompt fails to give a convincing analysis, which hinders my ability to craft a high-range essay. In contrast, my second draft of the essay adequately fixes these problems related to complexity. It gives a broader interpretation of the connection between the family and the tree, emphasizing the tree's ability to foster rational discussion between the mother and daughter, which is ultimately overshadowed by the tree's more emotional aspects. My Draft #2 also has better connective tissue than my first draft. I transition to a next paragraph by expounding upon the ideas presented in the previous. My second draft also better discusses how the poetic techniques convey the speaker's purpose by using more specific evidence, in contrast to my first draft's minute discussion points on paraphrased lines in the poem.

By analyzing my shift from Draft #1 to Draft #2, I now recognize what constitutes a high-range poetry essay. I must include a broad range of interpretations, which can be achieved by zeroing in on small details in the prompt that can provide nuanced, implicit meanings. I also understand the necessity for good connective tissue between paragraphs, which can eliminate my initial instinct to write a formulaic, safe essay. By analyzing "how" and "why" instead of "what," I can successfully demonstrate to AP graders that I understand the prompt.

Blog #2: The Prose Passage Benchmark Essay

Draft #1:

In The Known World by Edward P. Jones, Jones describes the mental journey of Moses to move on from a safe and loving, but unchanging and regressive, lifestyle in a cabin village. By displaying vivid detail of Moses' affinity to eating dirt as well as imagery describing the surroundings of Moses, all encapsulated in a deep, intimate third person point of view, Jones paints Moses as a characters who has the determination to move on by breaking the status quo.

The author initially uses great detail to describe the tight bond that Moses had with his family and friends in the cabin village. Clear sensory descriptions life "metallic life" and sour moldiness" of the dirt that Moses tastes proves that Moses has lived in the village so comfortably that he can taste the differences even in his hometown's dirt, by season. Jones also describes the eating of dirt as "the only thing in his small world that meant almost as much as his own life." Moses tasted dirt not for bodily necessity, but for his mental necessity of once more being connected to his hometown before he has to leave for an entirely different lifestyle. The fact that Moses finds the world as small implicated a determination to move forward, a determination to do better, a determination to find more.

This determination revealed through the first half of he passage blossoms successfully into a clear depiction of Moses' character.

Just in the next paragraph, Jones uses atmospheric and auditory imagery to further Moses' journey to a new life. The author first spits out the words "home and food and rest and what passed in may cabins" to emphasize the great comfort and protection that Moses had while living in his village. Readers already know that Moses is planning to leave. But what makes him want to leave, when his current lifestyle has all the necessities to mold a healthy, sustained person?

This is his determined character, his deep desire to change and do better. The author includes revealing auditory cures that hint at a faint "sound of playing children" at one side of Moses' head, but on the other side, Moses hears "more clearly the last bird of the day." This is the crucial moment that finally turns the story forward, that drives Moses' character from still somewhat meek to full-on impassioned. No longer tempted by the sound of happy village children, by the safety of his home and family, he urges the sound of the bird in the forest to whisk him into a new life. The fourth paragraph clearly shows Moses' transition into and passion for change.

Once the author finally takes Moses and the readers into the forest, everyone gets an intimate closeup of Moses' point of view, all alone, but unafraid nonetheless. Rain flowing down on his face symbolizes both a cleansing of his past life and an acceptance of the new world.

Essay score: 4

Reflection After Draft #1:

My first draft of The Known World's Prose Passage essay has a couple of major issues, which understandably limit the essay's score to a 4. First off, I significantly misunderstand the passage and its relationship to the prompt. I fail to see that Moses was a slave; I instead focus on his determination to escape a life of monotony, which ultimately fails to illustrate what Edward P. Jones is actually describing in the passage. I also fail to finish my final paragraph, which would have included a crucial last piece of evidence and the overall conclusion. The lack of the final paragraph offers an unconvincing analysis of the prompt.

Storyboard (lines 41-64)

Shifts Chart

Three Sentence Thesis:

In The Known World, author Edward P. Jones reveals the complexity of the character of Moses through the juxtaposition of freedom and slavery. Moses, a slave, seeks to form a deeper connection between himself and the land he is enslaved upon, in turn, making him feel free. By incorporating vivid details of a close-up of Moses in the field, Jones effectively exposes Moses as a man of true passion for self-identity and nature.

Draft #2 (done with table group):

In The Known World, author Edward P. Jones reveals the complexity of the character of Moses through the juxtaposition of freedom and slavery. Moses, a slave, seeks to form a deeper connection between himself and the land he is enslaved upon, in turn, making him feel free. By incorporating vivid details of a close-up of Moses in the field, Jones effectively exposes Moses as a man of true passion for self-identity and nature.

In the beginning, Jones clearly expresses that Moses lives with family. Moses works along with “young ones, his son among them” (ll. 4-5). His relationship to his family, however, is actually quite weak. Jones describes Moses’ peers with “hunger and tiredness” (ll. 3-4), exposing a fundamental gap between the connection of Moses and other humans. These concrete words used to describe these people - as opposed to more personal, intimate descriptions - ultimately give a tone of unsympathetic distance. Moses is not a man of the people.

After the opening lines of the passage, Jones changed the focus from Moses’ peers to the nature around him by using selective details and vivid imagery. Moses described the Sun as “a five-inch-long memory of red orange laid out in still waves across the horizon between two mountains” (ll. 11-13). This vivid description of the Sun and how Moses perceives it is crucial to the beginning of the passage as it reveals his desire to be close with the nature around him and shows that he is more focused on the land than he was in the beginning of the passage about his peers. Moses’ love for the land he lives on sharply contrasts with the idea of him being in bondage to the land through man.

Moses’ connection to the land is reinforced as Jones focuses back on Moses, as he bends down to eat a pinch of dirt. Jones gives specific details to show that Moses eats the dirt to tie him closer to the land. Jones makes the distinction that Moses does not eat it for the same reason as the “bondage woman” (l. 25). By using the word ‘bondage’, Jones once again shows that while Moses is a slave, he finds freedom in nature. The text then goes on to describe the taste of the dirt in great detail. Through this description, the reader is shown Moses’ perspective, and how he can describe the taste, because he is close with the land. This “sour moldiness” (l. 37) is said to be “the end of a relationship [Moses] had begun with the first taste of dirt back in March” (ll. 38-39). Through this specific word choice, Jones is once again emphasizing the intimacy between Moses and the land.

Once he finishes tasting the dirt of the earth, Moses further engrosses himself into his surrounding nature. Even after the setting of the sun, Moses still experiences a warm embrace from the black of night, with “the darkness having taken a nice hold of him” (ll. 41-42). No matter, what the condition of each day is, if Moses is experiencing the earth’s natural events, he feels a comfort and joy that fails to arise when he is with people. This shift into a more comforting and embracing tone highlights just how influential nature is to Moses, which thus furthers his personal connection to the land itself.

The characterization further continues when Jones changes the point of view to  Moses’s family when Moses breathes in the smell of rain. Jones provides context details of Moses’s family life, such as how “his wife knew enough now not to wait for him to come and eat with them” (ll. 55-56). Because Moses feels more homely within nature, instead of joining his own family for dinner, the author provides crisp details as to how Moses possess such deep connections with the land he toils upon every single day. Furthermore, when Jones resumes to the narrative after providing context details, he points out that as Moses is traveling to the forest, he hears the sound of children playing, but when he turns back, the only sound he hears is the sound of “the last bird of the day”(l. 63). Through this concrete example, Jones is able to portray Moses’s deep preference of nature, such as the bird chirping, in favor of humanity, from the child playing.  

Jones reveals Moses as a true man of the land, but not as a man of the people. Moses has an occupational relationship with his peers, who works alongside him every day “for all of fifteen hours’(ll. 14-15). However, this connection is not intimate. This connection doesn’t reveal a personal connection like that of Moses’ relationship with nature. Truly, Jones emphasizes nature as Moses’ most fundamental need, a need that furthers his passion for introspection.

Reflection After Draft #2:

While writing the first draft, I did not realize that I was incorrectly interpreting the passage. This may be explained by my reading of the passage quickly, in fear that I would not have enough time to create a complex thesis and provide specific evidence in the body paragraphs. Indeed, I did not have enough time to discuss symbolism in my final paragraph. Thus, I provided an inadequate, incorrect, and incomplete interpretation of the piece. My second draft, however, fixes many of these problems. For one, my second draft reveals a proper understanding of the prompt - Moses is a slave who has a deep relationship with nature while also having a lack thereof with his peers. This acknowledgement of binary opposites - nature/surroundings and Moses' inner feelings - also provides for a more complex, nuanced thesis and focus. Additionally, Draft #2 has good transitions and flow from paragraph to paragraph; each provides a specific example of a shift and its effect on revealing the character of Moses. Draft #2 also excels in spotting and explaining numerous and differing rhetorical techniques that Jones utilizes.

Having experienced this revision from Draft #1, I now understand the fundamental requirements for a higher level Prose Passage essay. I now know that not only must I understand the passage clearly, I must also find nuance and effectively highlight this complexity throughout my essay. I also now recognize the need for effective transitions to piece each piece of evidence and point of discussion together, in order to show AP graders that I see how the passage and its overall purpose are connected.